Hi again. I posted last night about the frustrations I'm having with my DH regarding money and he being out of work and still spending like he is working. Anyway, I just went on to our bank's website and noticed he withdrew another $20 last night and didn't even mention it to me even after we argued about money last night.
I've now officially had it and I have a question for you all. If I transfer the money out of our joint checking account into my personal checking account and he tries to use his ATM card, will it overdraw the joint account or will the card be denied?? He uses the card as a credit card, not a debit card.
Any help you can give me would be much appreciated. Thanks for everything!
Edited to add: Thanks for the tip Campfrugal!. I called the bank and they said that if he used it as a credit card the transaction would still go through and we'd be hit with a $29 fee each time. Now I'm back to now knowing what to do.
Question
January 24th, 2007 at 01:46 pm
January 24th, 2007 at 02:11 pm 1169647917
January 24th, 2007 at 03:23 pm 1169652210
This all-too-common problem is very serious indeed. The two of you need to be on the same page as much as possible. Sadly, I know this scenario all too well, and I can only recommend to NOT do what I did.
What I did was, I eventually got fed up! I got so fed up that I clamped down on the money. At the time, I saw it as having no other choice if we were going to have any chances of saving our finances.
In retrospect, however, I learned that that was the wrong thing to do. It was wrong because I did it without consulting her first. I should have talked to her first, and reached some kind of compromise before I did anything to the money. I know this is akin to running head first into a brick wall sometimes but... your spouse has to be onboard, or else it'll only increase the tension.
Now, I'm not saying you're wrong. Believe me, I'm with you that he shouldn't be pulling out money behind your back. However, I don't think the stress and tension can be eased by separating the finances like this. If anything, it will only make it worse.
As for your original question, separate accounts are normally not "linked". However, you can go to your bank and ask for your accounts to be linked as a form of overdraft protection. By default, nothing is linked though, unless you specifically ask for it. Therefore, your personal checking should be safe, but I'd double check with your bank just to be safe.
Anyway, I hope you will find some way to talk to your husband and reach some kind of agreement.
January 24th, 2007 at 04:28 pm 1169656125
You have to come to terms with him. I also think that if he has to 'report' to you about taking just $20 from a joint account, well, that would be enough for anyone to feel like a child. I know you are upset, but you need to find a way to deal with the finances without making your husband feel demeaned, or he will come to resent you.