I need some help getting my DH on board with cutting back on spending. He's laid off from work right now because he's a landscaper. He usually works if it snows, but we havent had much this winter. Money is starting to get tight and when I tell him this, its like he doesn't even listen.
DH gets $40/week allowance (even now that he's out of work). That money is his to do whatever he wants. But he doesn't use it to put gas in his truck because he uses his ATM card for that all the time. And usually midway through the week he's using his ATM card to buy chewing tobacco. That is his very bad habit that he can't seem to quit. So after the $40 allowance, he spends another $40-60/week on gas/tobacco. I'm at the end of my rope with this.
I don't get a weekly allowance. I have a part time job that pays me $125/week in cash. I use that money to buy groceries and put gas in my car each week. Whatever is left is my spending money for the week. Its usually around $20. My full time job pay is used to pay rent and bills.
What can I do to get through to him that his $40/week HAS to last a full week??? I don't mind if he doesn't get gas with that, but the tobacco is getting out of hand. If anyone has any suggestions of what I can try, please let me know.
Thanks
How to get DH on board
January 24th, 2007 at 12:35 am
January 24th, 2007 at 01:01 am 1169600477
A serious but fairly time-consuming suggestion would be to get some sort of financial workbook and work through it together as a couple, so that you can understand where the other person is coming from and set some goals so that you guys are working as a team and not competing with each other for the dollars. A favorite of mine is the companion workbook to "Smart Couples Finish Rich" (see my user name for a clue that I like this one!)
Also, and please do not take any offense at this at all, but take a hard look at your own spending to see if there is anything you are doing that may be causing him to think "Hey! If she can do it, so can I!" For example, do you put any unnecessary toiletry or grooming items in with the groceries? Hair spray? Makeup?
Back when my husband & I set up our allowances we agreed that cheap shampoo, soap, toothpaste & floss, and deodorant were allowed with the family expenses. Also, my feminine hygiene products were allowed since that really wasn't optional (so sorry if this is TMI). But anything else we bought we had to pay from our individual allowances. My husband had to pay for his mouthwash and I had to pay for my hair conditioner. And guess what? Our spending & saving habits got so disciplined over the years that we were able to eliminate the whole "allowance" thing (and hopefully you will be able to also).
Good luck to you and your husband!
January 24th, 2007 at 01:29 am 1169602177
Also, if your husband is able bodied, and if he is a landscaper he obviously is, maybe he should get a part time job at a convenience store or gas station or even delivering pizza on the off season. Or have him take on a paper route or something. Then it might not matter so much if he spends a bit more.
January 24th, 2007 at 02:28 am 1169605681
He's not a child. He's a man and he's got responsibilities...plain and simple. He's trying to put his head in the sand and hope that YOU take on this problem and he can go on living his life the way he wants to. It's childish. You have to be strong and put your foot down.
January 24th, 2007 at 06:01 am 1169618464
The math sounds off someplace...
January 24th, 2007 at 01:16 pm 1169644565
As for the tobacco, he goes through about a tin a day. So that's $4-5 per day depending on where he buys it. But if he uses his ATM card, there's usually a minimum purchase of $10 or so that the store requires in order to use the card. So he'll usually buy a tin and then an energy drink or other stuff to get up to the minumum purchase amount.
We got into an argument again last night about money and I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of working 2 jobs and watching every penny I spend. I bring my lunch to work every day. We get free coffee at work so I don't buy coffee during the week at all. I don't spend any money at all during the week. I go to work, then I go home and make dinner and sit at home all night. Its getting depressing. Meanwhile, he goes and hangs out at friends houses every night and usually doesn't eat dinner at home but will order food with his friends. I get so mad when he does that. I just can't make him understand.
January 24th, 2007 at 11:06 pm 1169680009